6. It's Only A Few Miles!

One summer we took a vacation with another couple that perhaps we didn't know as well as we should have. It seemed like a great trip we had planned -- across Kansas to Colorado, up through the northeast corner into Wyoming, on up to Yellowstone and over to Sturgis, South Dakota.

Since we were scheduled to leave town right after lunch, Judy and I appeared at their house at the appointed hour. We soon discovered that they were running a little late. We had to wait for their kids to be taken to grandma's, the dog taken to the vet, the trailer to be hooked up, etc., etc. Finally, by 4 p.m. we were on our way. We then had to ride all night so we could get to the special cabin in the mountains that was scheduled to be our first stop.

This couple was known as the DePesto’s, consisting of Delbert and Brunhilda. Because of our late start, Delbert ran out of steam around Burlington, Colorado and decided to call a rest stop for a nap. We pulled in to a city park, spread our sleeping bags on the grass and intended to sleep a while.

After a mere 45 minutes' rest, Delbert leaped up, announced to the world he couldn't sleep any more and that we were going to hit the road. By 10 am next morning, we were completely lost up in the mountains as Delbert cruised from one back road to another looking for the cabin. After what seemed to be an eternity, Delbert stumbled on to the right road. The very steep road, winding, full of chuckholes and gravel, dead ended at a surprisingly nice cabin. No one was home when we arrived. As we had only 45 minutes' sleep in over 24 hours Judy and I began to set up our tent with the idea that we could at least get some much needed rest.

Delbert squelched that idea saying we needed to wait and ask permission before making ourselves at home. Judy began calming me down. I think my little eyes were narrowing in the distinctive Texas squint and she feared I would lose control and bounce a flint rock off his head! After a couple of hours or containing myself , the absentee owners appeared and invited us to pitch our tent, come in, clean up and eat. Thus ended the first really long day of this unholy alliance.

Next morning we took off bright and early. Well, for Delbert and Brunhilda (his lovely wife) it was bright and early. For us it was more like mid to late morning. Delbert set the tone for the day by starting his bike and letting it idle as he walked around saying his good-bye’s to our hosts.

Judy warned him that idling in neutral, on this steep grade, the bike may roll off the side stand. "Naw." Delbert said, "I've done this lots of times." As he concluded this pontification, he turned to see his bike roll off the side stand and fall on its side. The late start was made even later as he had to effect repairs. He even took off the guard rails and changed sides so the blemishes would be on the inside and wouldn't show.

Finally, we got underway. Delbert wanted to be in Rawlins, Wyoming for the night and he began his famous line of "It’s only a few miles." Needless to say, we came nowhere near Rawlins on this day. We camped in Craig, Colorado that evening and Judy fixed chicken fried steak over an open fire with real baked potatoes. It seemed that at least we were going to enjoy this trip. But, wait! It gets worse!

Delbert swung into action again the next morning; disdaining breakfast in Craig and wanting to get an early start. "We'll eat somewhere up the road near Rawlins," he said. "It’s only a few miles."

As we headed northwest, I began thinking that Rawlins was a good ways east of our current position. Being geographically challenged as I am, I asked Judy, the navigator, and she said she had not looked at a map since Delbert was leading the way, but she recalled that Rawlins was indeed east of us. We decided that when we stopped for breakfast we'd better consult our own maps and see exactly where we were. In the meantime, there were hundreds of deer and antelope along the road and I commented to Delbert that there were so many I couldn’t count them all. He didn’t know what I was talking about, couldn’t see them even when I pointed them out! Aiee! This guy is makin’ me crazy!

Two hours and a hundred miles or so later, we came to Interstate 80 and a little cafe. We ate a big breakfast, checked our maps and pointed out to Delbert that Rawlins was about 70 miles back to the east! If we were going to make Yellowstone on this trip, we'd better stay on the superslab and drop the hammer!

Reluctantly, he agreed. "You lead," he said. "I'll follow." I figured he wanted me to get the speeding ticket. No matter, I took off anyway.

Soon I was up around 90 mph and Delbert's headlight was just a small dot miles behind us. I mentioned to Judy that this provided a great opportunity for us to exit, hide out beneath the highway and be finished with Delbert. She accused me of unsociable tendencies and forced me to continue on.

We came in to Rock Springs miles ahead of our nemesis. While I gassed up the bike Judy went inside to get us something to drink. I could hear Delbert calling us on the CB, but I didn't answer. When Judy came out he was still calling for us so she answered. Now we're all together again. Isn't this nice? Judy pointed out that we're still a long way from Yellowstone and, since it was getting late, we'd better find a campground pretty quick. "Oh, yes," Bruny chimed in. "I want a site with evergreen trees, a small stream, hot showers and a pool." Delbert was all for going on to Yellowstone. "After all," he said, "It's only a few miles."

Ignoring Delbert's comments, we stopped at a ranger station to inquire about camping spots. The ranger told us there were only a few places left at Gros Ventre and that we'd better hurry. He also said that we wouldn't find a thing toward Yellowstone. All campgrounds are full and have been since 1:00 p.m.. So, we headed back to Gros Ventre and found two nice level sites open. Although both sat on a gravel parking area next to a bathroom/shower facility, we took them any way. Not exactly the perfect spot, but a spot nonetheless.

We began pitching our tent when Delbert and Bruny announced, "We're going on to Yellowstone." Judy reminded them that the Ranger had just informed us that all sites were full.

"No, we don't believe that.” they said. “We're going on. We’ll see you in Cody."

I politely kept my mouth shut not wishing to interfere with this wonderful decision that would give us peace of mind and get rid of them!

They rode away saying, "Better come with us. It's only a few miles to Yellowstone." We bid them farewell, looked at each other and laughed... for we had consulted the map! We decided to clean up and go into Jackson Hole for a rainbow trout supper. After all it's only a few miles.

We had a fine supper, walked around town, talked to some locals who directed us to a spot where we could watch eagles and antelope in the morning. Eventually we went home to our tent trailer and sacked out for the night, planning to stay in this neat area for a day or two and enjoy our privacy. But, wait! What's that I hear? Sounds like a Yamaha to me. Yes, Delbert and Brunhilda have returned and they are bickering bitterly, nearly coming to blows when Delbert knocked Brunhilda’s helmet off the bike and it crashed onto the gravel parking lot.

They had ridden all the way to the entrance to Yellowstone Park - grand total of 109 miles one way -- on top of the 500 mile day they had already completed. They checked out every campground along the way ... there were no vacancies! Hmmm! Where have I heard that before? Exhausted they then rode 109 miles back to us, arriving at 1:00 am. Wearily, they pitched their tent next to ours and settled down for a short night.

Early next morning, Delbert and Bruny were up and ready to go at first light. "Goin' to Cody today." they said. "What? You guys aren't coming?

We declined.

“Well...so, we'll meet you at the KOA campground in Cody on Thursday. OK?" Sure, Delbert. We’ll be there. (Chuckle, chuckle.)

And with that, they were off with Delbert's famous last words..."We'll be in Cody today, by noon at the latest. It's only a few miles."

Now, gentle reader, I must ask you...this fellow had just ridden 109 miles to the entrance of Yellowstone the previous evening. From the entrance around to the Cody entrance was another 120 miles or so, then another 80 miles on from that entrance to Cody, most of this in heavy traffic and very slow going. Do you really think he’ll make it to Cody by noon?

Judy and I spent the day touring the local attractions, bathing in the river and sitting by the campfire. Two days later we got into Cody in the late afternoon. We found a neat campground ...but, it wasn't the KOA! That one we avoided like the plague. We cleaned up and went to the Buffalo Bill Cody Museum. There was a painting there done by H.H. Cross in 1878 that I had waited years to see. It’s entitled "The Victor". It‘s nine feet tall and six feet wide, depicting a buffalo shot full of arrows. But...at the buffalo’s feet is an Indian, trampled pretty good and obviously done in. Hence the name...”The Victor”. Your choice.

We spent a couple of days in the Cody area seeing the historical sights before going out to Devil's Tower, camping there for the night. How peaceful it was without the bickering De Pesto’s.

After two more nights we reluctantly started toward home. We rode through Custer State Park, the Needle’s Highway with the neat pigtails.

Suddenly, when we rounded a curve, there they were! Again! Delbert and Brunhilda! Sitting alongside the road talking about a new side trip they wanted to take before heading for home. Judy pointed out that it would take quite a while for us to get back and we'd better decline.

Delbert looked at us in his strange way and said, "But there’s plenty of time. After all, it's only a few miles!"