9. What Size Checks?

My first meeting with the wild bunch known as the Big Spring Road Riders came at the Bonanza Steak House in Big Spring, Texas. I'd been in town about a week having just started a new job at the Cut n' Shoot Medical Center. I didn't really know anybody yet and when I saw all those bikes pull up, I wandered over and started talking. I was invited to attend the business meeting of the BSRR and then stay for social hour afterward.

Unfortunately, I was introduced as a Yankee and had to fix that dreadful misconception right away. You see, in Texas anybody north of the Red River is considered a "Yankee" and a wimpy tea sipper! These folks acted like I had just rode into town in the back of a cantaloupe truck!

I watched with amazement as the meeting got under way using a radically modified version of Robert's Rules of Order. The President waded through the various committee reports, the Road Captain's report, the Treasurer's report and so on and so on....

Things got pretty lively when the Uniform Committee Chairman got up to speak. He was some upset! Some members were out of uniform and seemed unrepentent to boot!

It seems that two sets of uniforms, with minor variations on each, were in conflict. Members from both sides were reluctant to accept each other’s shirts because they had already bought one shirt and didn't want to buy more till this mess got fixed. The basic uniform consisted of:

One red and white long sleeved shirt
Checks of 1/4 inch squares
White pearl snaps

The non-approved version:

One red and white long sleeved shirt
Checks of 1/2 inch squares
Red pearl snaps

Both versions were nicely contrasted with a blue denim vest. But wait, there was a problem here also. Some of these vests had blue buttons; others had brown buttons, and still others had brass snaps. This is nowhere near uniform in appearance and something must be decided or this Chairman was goin' to kick some real butt!

At this point reason prevailed in the form of a soft spoken elder statesman who asked for recognition from the President.

The President, with obvious relief, recognized the gentleman and sat down to remove himself from any hurled invectives or flying objects. The elder statesman intoned, "I move we have one size check." Having made his motion, he sat back down.

Immediately an antagonist asked for recognition, got it and asked, "What size check?" He sat down.

The statesman sought recognition, got it, and said, "One size." Sat down.

Antagonist: "What size?"
Statesman: "One size!"
Antagonist: "Yes, I know! But WHAT size?!!"
Statesman: "One size! One size! I don't care which size, settle on JUST ONE SIZE!"

This battle could have raged on till morning had not a wise lady behind me asked for recognition, got it and made the following motion. "Mr. President, I move we table this subject till next meeting so our guest will not think we are all plumb loco!" This was accepted, seconded and the vote for adjournment was unanimous. So much for first impressions.

This topic came up many times over the next two years and was never resolved and today you can still find evidence of mixed uniforms.

And the final irony? Some of these good folks have started wearing short sleeved shirts!