29. A Tin of Aspirin, Por Favor

Long, long ago, in the summer of 1980, Judy and I were in Southern Colorado, camping and touring around this relatively unspoiled area of the state. Our friends, the Frickley’s, had gone on to Amarillo to visit old school chums, leaving us with a few days to ourselves.

We spent the good warm days touring the lightly traveled back roads, (somebody oughta write a book about ridin’ these back roads) shopping in quaint little stores, and just smellin’ the roses. Late one afternoon we came through this charming little town and decided to stop at the Mexican Cantina at the end of a dusty street.

We entered this spotlessly clean little cafe and decided this would be a good place for supper. So, we ordered the house specialty. Hot, spicy, authentic Mexican food. As our little hostess took our order, we realized that she did not habla ingles none too good.

But, I do hablo espanol! Well, a little anyway. Easily enough to get into trouble. “No problema, Senorita. Yo hablo espanol con el accento de Tejas!” I said with a big smile. Loosely translated, this means “No problem, honey. I speak a little Spanish with a Texas accent!” Right then she knew I had no more Spanish than she had English. Ah, well. That’s the fun of trying to communicate in another’s language. Everyone enjoys the mistakes!

Later in life, I would use this linguistic skill to order a hamburger for everybody in the world! What I meant was a hamburger with everything!

My worst gaffe was, “No tan de prisa, Gordita!” which means “Not so fast, fat woman!” That comment earned me a rap on top of my gourd that made my ears ring!

Another favorite of mine was picked up on a sign in the bathroom of a West Texas Wal-Mart store. “Buenos tardes, ladronnes!” While this rolls off the tongue and sounds romantic, it really means “Good evening, shoplifters!” But, I digress.

After a great meal, (true Mexican food has a fine, delicate flavor), we went to the counter to settle up. I was stiff and sore from all the ridin’ we had done and as we got our change back, I asked for a tin of aspirin. Aspirin is the great pain reliever, dramatically reducing joint inflammation and stiffness quickly.

Our little hostess smiled and said, “Si! Yo tengo aspirin aqui!” (“Yes, I have aspirin right here!”) See how easy Spanish is to learn? She was back in a flash, with a bottle of aspirin and a napkin. She opened the bottle, laid the napkin on the counter and began, “uno, dos, tres,.......” While she could easily count to ten in English, she did not pick up on the difference between tin and ten!

She was very sincere and very charming so I graciously accepted the napkin full of aspirin and we left. And...each of us still had our dignity intact!

Home again at the end of the trip, Patience and Judy got together to compare notes on what happened after they left us for Amarillo. Judy laughed when she heard the story of Frickley asking for aspirin in a Mexican Cafe.

It seems the little hostess didn’t speak much English and brought Frickley some aspirin wrapped in a tissue. She began counting, “uno, dos, tres...”