33. Dangerous Bathrooms

Our good friends Ken and June were camped at the Black Canyon of the Gunnison one year while on their summer vacation. Their site was a secluded one, tucked away back in a little grove of trees far from the hustle and bustle of the busy campground. They were enjoying the peace and quiet when the Wart family circus mounted an invasion! The racket they made was enough to make the welkin ring!

Mr. and Mrs. Wart had many children, ranging in age from 3 to 12. They had been very active in the early years of their marriage having brought into this world no less than nine progeny! With all these offspring, there was no need to ask what they used to do for entertainment!

Tired of producing a new little Wart every year, Mrs. Wart, in desperation, tried to dampen the fire in the loins of Mr. Wart by placing a sharp edged pebble in his shoe; reasoning that it would make him limp. Don’t laugh, it worked, because little Jeremy is now three years old and has no younger siblings...

The Warts pulled into the campsite nearest to Ken and June and proceeded to set up camp with the 32 foot long Prowler camper towed behind a large, clattering diesel pickup truck! With the great noise from the children racing around and Mama Wart screeching directions to Papa Wart as he tried to back the big trailer into a tight spot, the peacfull tranquility was replaced by pandemonium and smelly exhaust fumes.

Ken and June looked at one another with dismay as they realized that it was too late for them to move to another campground up the road. The noise from next door continued as the kids began gathering wood for a fire so they could roast hot dogs and marshmallows. End of the restful evening.

Sometime later, the oldest daughter came running back to the trailer, cutting through Ken and June’s campsite screaming, “Mama! Mama! Come quick. Jeremy’s gotten himself stuck in the bathroom and can’t get out!”

Mama Wart yelled back, “You get him unstuck and come in for the evening. It’s gettin’ dark and supper’s almost ready.”

The girl yelled again, “Mama, you don’t understand. Jeremy fell down in the bathroom. He’s down inside the big toilet and can’t get out!” Jeremy was the little three year old and at this point, Mama Wart did not yet realize that this was a chemical toilet and that her little darlin’ had fallen down into the holding receptacle!


When she finally understood what her daughter was telling her, Mama Wart looked sadly over at June and said, “Lord, I think it would be easier to just have another one than to go get this boy!”

June didn’t elaborate on whether or not she helped with the clean up of young Jeremy.

Vacations. Sometimes great, sometimes not.