20. That's Not The Way To Topeka

July 1982 found me on the Kansas Turnpike once again; headed for Topeka coming up from Big Spring, Texas. I pulled in at one of the Hardee’s rest areas that service both north and south bound traffic for a much needed break and some sustenance. Inside, I bought a hamburger, fries, and coffee returning to the bike as quickly as possible because I had many possessions strapped on the luggage rack. There are ladronnes everywhere. I spread out my little meal on the sidewalk and sat down beside the bike to eat. I was tired. I had ridden hard and fast all night, covering nearly 700 miles and I was really tired! Topeka was now only 90 miles away.

I was sitting not far from the Hardee’s entrance, lost in thought, when an elderly lady wandered out alone and approached me, saying what a pretty bike that was. I told her it was actually Judy’s bike and I was headed home for a long weekend. She asked where I was going and I pointed to the north and said, “Topeka.”

“Oh, young man!” she exclaimed. (See how long ago this was?) “You’re going the wrong way! Topeka’s that way.” She pointed down south.

“No, ma’am.” I said. “I’m pretty sure it’s this way.” Again I pointed north.

About that time her husband, an elegant appearing little gentleman, appeared on the scene and said. “Mildred, let’s go.”

Stubbornly, she resisted his instructions and asked him to stop me from making a terrible mistake. He gently took her by the arm and began easing her away when she again told him. “Floyd, tell him how to get to Topeka!”

“Mildred!” he said sharply. “Let’s go!”

“But, Floyd!” she said. “He’s going the wrong way!” Suddenly, she stopped! Their car was not where she expected to it to be. Someone must have stolen their car!

She screamed, “Floyd, our car’s been stolen! Someone stole our car!”

Turning to strangers coming out of the restaurant, she screamed, “Help! Help! Our car‘s been stolen!” Did I mention she was getting some strange looks? I should have.

Husband Floyd continued to guide her around the building, trying to explain to her what was happening. She said, “Now you just listen, Floyd. You don’t understand! Our car’s been stolen!”

In exasperation, Floyd said, “Mildred, I understand that you came out the wrong door! Our car’s over on the southbound lot!”

Hey, gettin' old ain't for sissies!